In 2006, I first encountered Um Adnan in the southern Lebanese village of Chehabiyeh, not far from the border with Israel, a region historically resilient despite significant challenges. My visit occurred shortly after a devastating 34-day military offensive, which had taken the lives of approximately 1,200 people and left many areas riddled with unexploded ordnance.
Um Adnan, born in 1939, reflects a poignant chapter of history, having married a Palestinian refugee from Nazareth who had fled to Lebanon in 1948 as a child. Though her husband had passed away by the time we met, her son Hassan fondly recalled their initial meeting as “magical.” She had raised eight children, of whom six survived, displaying remarkable steadfastness amid personal and societal upheaval.
When I visited Um Adnan in 2006, she was already facing severe mobility challenges yet remained vivacious and devoted to her family and home. In a rare twist of fate, her house had surprisingly withstood the summer’s bombardment, unlike many around her. My friend Amelia and I, hitchhiking through the area, were fortunate to be taken in by Hassan and welcomed warmly with an abundance of food and hospitality.
By my return in 2008—after traveling through Turkey and Syria—Um Adnan’s condition had worsened, yet she remained an indefatigable spirit, continuously engaged in household chores and welcoming guests with open arms. The heart of her home was her kitchen, where she always had a pot of green beans prepared and encouraged me to partake in numerous meals, reminding me of the deep-rooted hospitality that defines Middle Eastern culture.
Despite the adversities she faced, including the scars left by the Israeli invasion of Lebanon in 1982, Um Adnan maintained an inspiring grace, transformed what could easily be despair into resilience each day. Her daily heroism contrasted sharply with prevalent narratives that often diminish the strength and vitality of women in Arab and Muslim communities.
Throughout the long Israeli occupation of southern Lebanon from 1978 to 2000, Hassan had fought bravely alongside the Lebanese resistance, keeping Um Adnan constantly on edge. After we devised a lighthearted plan to marry in hopes of improving his chances of obtaining U.S. citizenship, she embraced our unconventional arrangement with warmth, illuminating the importance of family and connection in her life.
Our wedding in the village of Tibnine, officiated by a sheikh, was a joyful event, although it did not fulfill our plans for immigration. Nevertheless, Um Adnan continued to shower us with love and support. Years later, in December 2022, I received a message from Hassan, who heartbreakingly shared that his beloved mother had passed away during the coronavirus pandemic.
Um Adnan’s home has now succumbed to the rubble that has engulfed much of Chehabiyeh due to recent conflicts, yet her legacy—marked by resilience, love, and determination—endures in the hearts of her family and the community she embraced.
As we commemorate International Women’s Day today, I reflect on Um Adnan’s indomitable spirit amidst adversity, inspiring countless women worldwide who face ongoing struggles. Her life serves as a testament to strength and nurturing in the face of challenges, highlighting the beauty and fortitude present in Palestinian and Lebanese communities, and emphasizing the enduring importance of women in every aspect of culture and society.
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